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The SelfWork Podcast

I'm Dr. Margaret, a psychologist for over 25 years and the author of Perfectly Hidden Depression. I created The SelfWork Podcast in 2016 to explain mental health treatment, and to give you the chance to consider therapy without thinking it's weird or somehow suggests you can't "fix" your own problems. My team is so honored that five years later, SelfWork has earned nearly 3.5 million downloads! Each episode features the popular listener question. And, once a month, you’ll hear a “You Get the Gist” segment - a five minute run-down of a current topic - as well as an interview with an outstanding guest author or expert, adding to the wide diversity of topics listeners so appreciate. Regularly rated as one of the top mental health/depression podcasts out there, I keep it short and casual - and I'd love to hear from you. Please join me.
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Now displaying: Category: Podcast
Aug 12, 2017

There is a huge difference between divorce with children, and divorce without children. Dr. Margaret offers nine practical and do-able choices to make when living out your divorced life, with shared children. “Getting along for the children’s sake” can lead to your children to survive the divorce and thrive in their lives, whereas a continuation […]

The post 034 SelfWork : Divorce. How To “Get Along For The Kids’ Sake” appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Aug 5, 2017

What is the relationship between self-esteem and self-acceptance? And how do you manage to hang on to either when you’re experiencing depression? Dr. Margaret gives you her perspective, with the offering that no one fact about you defines you as a person. She also describes the difference between resignation and acceptance, and how the latter […]

The post 033 SelfWork: How Self-Esteem And Self-Acceptance Work Together, Even With Depression appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Jul 16, 2017

“I love you, but….” How do we handle criticism, even “constructive criticism” from people we care about? Often, not too well. That could be a problem with how it’s delivered, how we hear it, or both. Dr. Margaret discusses what makes critical feedback so difficult and offers ten ideas of how to get out of […]

The post 030 SelfWork: “I Love You, But…” The Art Of Giving And Receiving Criticism appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Jul 11, 2017

Today’s podcast is a little unusual. Dr. Margaret’s telling a bit of her own love story with the man she married almost 28 years ago. She wrote a post about their marriage in 2014 that went viral on The Huffington Post, which she’s going to share with you, along with a few back stories of […]

The post 029 SelfWork: Marriage Is Not For Chickens appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Jul 3, 2017

Anger. It’s not an emotion that many people know how to express well. And some even believe it’s to be avoided at all costs. Where do we get those beliefs? And what are the different ways we let each other know we’re angry? Dr. Margaret discusses how to express anger, and why often it’s important […]

The post 028 SelfWork: You’re Mad. Do You Stuff It, Reveal It Or Explode? appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Jun 25, 2017

“My mother was many things — lovely, talented, and she had a prescription drug addiction.” This is the very personal story of Dr. Margaret’s own mom, how anxiety and addiction affected her life and the lives of those who loved her. She had what would now be called Generalized Anxiety Disorder and obsessive-compulsive traits, and […]

The post 027 SelfWork: Anxiety, My Mom and Prescription Drug Abuse appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Jun 21, 2017

13 Reasons Why, the explosively haunting Netflix series focusing on teenagers, is giving our culture a message. It’s about bullying, drug and alcohol use, sexual assault, anxiety and alienation caused by the cruel use of social media, depression and suicide. Not that only parents of teens should listen to this podcast! Dr. Margaret points out […]

The post 026 SelfWork 13 Reasons Why: The Rise Of Teen Depression appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Jun 11, 2017

What does it feel like to live with mental illness, such as panic disorder or bipolar disorder? In this episode, Dr. Margaret tells her story of having and managing panic attacks, as performed in the local This Is My Brave program. In rehearsal, she met the young Caitlin McDowell, whose stunning piece on living with bipolar disorder […]

The post 025 SelfWork: Living With Anxiety And Bipolar Disorder: Stories From This Is My Brave appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Jun 4, 2017

Any time you can claim intention, it’s empowering. Letting go of children and avoiding the depression that can come from “empty nest?” You can decide to handle that transition with intentionality as well. Dr. Margaret offer specific ideas and references to help you do just that — and the process starts way before your children […]

The post 024 SelfWork: How To Prevent “Empty Nest” And Let Go, With Intention appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

May 27, 2017

You may not believe you experience FOMO, the recent acronym for the “fear of missing out.” But wait until you hear actual quotes from people who do, and you may hear yourself! Here’s one: “I can see from her SnapChat that she went out with all of our friends. I ended the friendship with her, but […]

The post 023 SelfWork: Do You Have FOMO (the Fear of Missing Out)? appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

May 17, 2017

Eating disorders and body image problems are rampant in our culture, with good reason. We are pummeled with images of the “acceptable” body, which is much younger, fitter, and probably photo-shopped. Dr. Margaret is talking today about the different kinds of eating disorders, her own history with anorexia and three non-scale things you can begin […]

The post 022 SelfWork: How To Not Hate Your Body appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

May 10, 2017

If you’re an expert at hiding emotional pain, and do it almost perfectly, then this episode is likely to speak to you. Dr. Margaret has been researching and writing about a syndrome she calls Perfectly Hidden Depression for three years. Listen in as she outlines the ten major traits of PHD in the detail that […]

The post 021 SelfWork: The Ten Traits Of Perfectly Hidden Depression appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Apr 30, 2017

Vulnerability is the presence of a sensitivity, a painful hurt or a struggle. In this episode of SelfWork, Dr. Margaret explores how recognizing your vulnerability is pragmatically important in managing mental illness. Accepting and revealing these tender aspects of yourself is also vital in deeply connecting with others, and with developing a greater understanding of […]

The post 020 SelfWork: Why Risk Vulnerability? appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Apr 23, 2017

Understanding narcissism is difficult. But if you’re a person who’s trying to love someone with a lack of empathy, the tendency to be quite self-involved, and to need an incredible amount of attention or praise, he or she could have narcissism. It’s vital to know what it is and how it affects relationships. What’s important […]

The post 019 SelfWork: Narcissism And How To Cope With It appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Apr 13, 2017

Change, whether it’s welcome and wanted, or unwelcome and difficult, involves stress. Today’s podcast is about living with both kinds, as well as the sometimes bizarre ways people try to avoid the reality of change. What are the most stressful life transitions for adults and children? And what is the most successful way people can […]

The post 018 SelfWork: Facing Change – Both Welcome And Unwelcome appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Apr 6, 2017

What do Bruce Springsteen (The Boss), Jay Guillermo (collegiate football player), Kid Cude (rapper) and Princess Diana (not the Disney kind) all have in common? They’ve suffered with chronic mental illness, revealed it, and talked openly about it. Prejudice against mental illness is alive and well, but we can all fight it, both within ourselves, […]

The post 017 SelfWork: How Do We Fight The Stigma Of Mental Illness appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Mar 27, 2017

Individual therapy can be emotionally difficult, although well worth it. Couples therapy? In some ways, it’s even harder, as two people who are more or less demoralized try to remedy problems that have been around for quite a while. With both nurturing and directness, Dr. Margaret identifies the four major signs of relationship disaster (researched […]

The post 016 SelfWork: What Is So Hard About Couples Therapy? appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Mar 21, 2017

Abusive relationships, whether the abuse is emotional, physical or sexual, can be extremely difficult to leave. Yet many people will shrug their shoulders, saying, “If someone treated me like that, I’d be out the door.” What is that old saying? “Walk a mile in my shoes….”. This podcast is all about the complication of abusive […]

The post 015 SelfWork: What Keeps You From Leaving appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Mar 8, 2017

Gratitude is a wonderful thing, right? It definitely is when it’s demonstrated and expressed in relationships, whether they be an intimate one, a good friend, or even perhaps with perfect strangers. But can it be a problem? Today we’ll be talking about the importance of gratitude in partnerships, especially when there are children involved. Two […]

The post 014 SelfWork: When Gratitude Backfires appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Feb 27, 2017

Divorce is tough, no matter how amicable. If you or someone you love is considering divorce, this episode of SelfWork will walk you through what you may be able to expect. Dr. Margaret offers some surprising facts about divorce, and reveals six ways to be your best self during what can be a difficult life […]

The post 013 SelfWork: What To Expect When You’re Divorcing appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Feb 19, 2017

What does it mean to feel emotionally grown up? Feeling mature, decisive, not being reactive but responsive, having insight into our own behavior and changing that behavior when it’s appropriate – when we can do these things, we are acting in our adult selves. So much of how or how long that takes depends on what […]

The post 012 SelfWork: How To Become An Emotional Grownup appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Feb 7, 2017

Emotional abuse is very real for many, When it comes from a parent, the damage done can horrific and life-altering. This is a complex issue — and Dr. Margaret talks about it with understanding and compassion for all involved Today’s post describes a mother who meets criteria for what’s termed Borderline Personality Disorder, (BPD) which is a way […]

The post 011 SelfWork: The Emotionally Abusive Mother appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Jan 28, 2017

Loving someone who is trying to heal from depression can be a tough job. So here’s some help! In this podcast, Dr. Margaret gives you tangible tips (Dr. M’s focus is always, “What you can do about it!”) and thoughtful recognitions.  Included is a brief rundown of the different modes of depression itself, and special […]

The post 010 SelfWork: How To Love Someone With Depression appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Jan 16, 2017

Shame can be a tremendously destructive force in our lives. This podcast will help you learn how to identify shame in yourself, and gives specific suggestions on how to work through it. Shame is usually present in the form of self-loathing or constant thoughts about yourself that are negative or make you feel as if […]

The post 009 SelfWork: Healing From Shame appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Jan 5, 2017

Welcome back to SelfWork! Today’s podcast is all about the skills of listening — really listening. We all get into such bad habits, and learning how to effectively hear and respond to another person, especially someone you love, can make a huge change in how your relationship works and feels. You may have heard yourself […]

The post 008 SelfWork: Learning The True Skills Of Listening appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

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