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The SelfWork Podcast

I'm Dr. Margaret, a psychologist for over 25 years and the author of Perfectly Hidden Depression. I created The SelfWork Podcast in 2016 to explain mental health treatment, and to give you the chance to consider therapy without thinking it's weird or somehow suggests you can't "fix" your own problems. My team is so honored that five years later, SelfWork has earned nearly 3.5 million downloads! Each episode features the popular listener question. And, once a month, you’ll hear a “You Get the Gist” segment - a five minute run-down of a current topic - as well as an interview with an outstanding guest author or expert, adding to the wide diversity of topics listeners so appreciate. Regularly rated as one of the top mental health/depression podcasts out there, I keep it short and casual - and I'd love to hear from you. Please join me.
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Now displaying: Page 1
Oct 29, 2021

Today, in this episode sponsored by BetterHelp, we’re going to focus on what psychologists call "a solid sense of self" - which is a little jargonistic for me. First we'll touch on the huge difference between codependence and interdependence, with the latter being so important in the development of trust and cooperation. Then we'll move onto the issue of hanging on to your sense of "being you" while in a relationship. You certainly don't do that in a codependent relationship but you can in an interdependent one. And to make it even more accessible, I've broken down this whole solid sense of self concept into five components.

  • Know what you value about yourself - your strengths - and claim these competencies with humility.
  • Use your voice to state what you think , what you expect and what you want -  and then to compromise.
  • Expect others to respect your boundaries.
  • Take responsibility for your own vulnerabilities and the impact they might have on others.
  • Seek relationships where you have the opportunity to learn to trust and to be trusted.

The listener voicemail is a painful one to hear. And difficult because I don’t have  a really great answer. I can certainly hear how the listener is watching someone he loves emotionally suffer – yet the situation he describes doesn’t seem to be one he can control. I’ll try to suggest to him what he does have in his control… as little as that may seem.

Important Links:

BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer for you now!

Article in VeryWellMind on interdependence

You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my websiteand receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click hereand answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has been published and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And it’s available in paperback, eBook or as an audiobook!

Now there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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