Info

The SelfWork Podcast

I'm Dr. Margaret, a psychologist for over 25 years and the author of Perfectly Hidden Depression. I created The SelfWork Podcast in 2016 to explain mental health treatment, and to give you the chance to consider therapy without thinking it's weird or somehow suggests you can't "fix" your own problems. My team is so honored that five years later, SelfWork has earned nearly 3.5 million downloads! Each episode features the popular listener question. And, once a month, you’ll hear a “You Get the Gist” segment - a five minute run-down of a current topic - as well as an interview with an outstanding guest author or expert, adding to the wide diversity of topics listeners so appreciate. Regularly rated as one of the top mental health/depression podcasts out there, I keep it short and casual - and I'd love to hear from you. Please join me.
RSS Feed
The SelfWork Podcast
2022
August
July
June
May
April
March
February
January


2021
December
November
October
September
August
July
June
May
April
March
February
January


2020
December
November
October
September
August
July
June
May
April
March
February
January


2019
December
November
October
September
August
July
June
May
April
March
February
January


2018
December
November
October
September
August
July
June
May
April
March
February
January


2017
December
November
October
September
August
July
June
May
April
March
February
January


2016
December
November
October


Categories

All Episodes
Archives
Categories
Now displaying: 2021
Aug 20, 2021

Sometimes I receive an email that tears at my heartstrings. And this week was one of those times. I’ll read you the email – the heads up is that it’s about a sudden and totally unexpected suicide that led its writer to reach out to me about perfectly hidden depression with the question – Can someone hide depression, even suicidal thinking, from themselves? I’ll give my unequivocal answer.

Our listener voicemail also mentions perfectly hidden depression, but is basically a question about what my thoughts are about when to go consider medication for depression. I’m not a prescriber nor a psychiatrist so I can only offer general thoughts on this topic as a psychologist, but I can address it.

I’m so thankful to so many of you for leaving reviews on Apple Podcasts – the last one said, “ This woman has changed my entire life! I didn’t even realize how traumatized I was or that I even needed therapy before this podcast. Nevertheless, my friend suggested that I listen and since then I have a consistent relationship with my therapist through BetterHelp.com, learned to building constructive boundaries, and working on my relationship with my parents! I love the space she’s created in helping us to understand larger context while providing relevant examples!! I love it here!!!

So thank you so much for those kind words, and we’ll hear once again today about an offer from BetterHelp!

Important Links:

BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer for you now!

2019 Suicide Statistics

NAMI's Five Major Myths About Suicide

My Psychology Today article discussing how therapists can "see" through the armor of perfectionism

You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my websiteand receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click hereand answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has been published and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And it’s available in paperback, eBook or as an audiobook!

Now there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Aug 20, 2021

Sometimes I receive an email that tears at my heartstrings. And this week was one of those times. I’ll read you the email – the heads up is that it’s about a sudden and totally unexpected suicide that led its writer to reach out to me about perfectly hidden depression with the question – Can someone hide depression, even suicidal thinking, from themselves? I’ll give my unequivocal answer.

Our listener voicemail also mentions perfectly hidden depression, but is basically a question about what my thoughts are about when to go consider medication for depression. I’m not a prescriber nor a psychiatrist so I can only offer general thoughts on this topic as a psychologist, but I can address it.

I’m so thankful to so many of you for leaving reviews on Apple Podcasts – the last one said, “ This woman has changed my entire life! I didn’t even realize how traumatized I was or that I even needed therapy before this podcast. Nevertheless, my friend suggested that I listen and since then I have a consistent relationship with my therapist through BetterHelp.com, learned to building constructive boundaries, and working on my relationship with my parents! I love the space she’s created in helping us to understand larger context while providing relevant examples!! I love it here!!!

So thank you so much for those kind words, and we’ll hear once again today about an offer from BetterHelp!

Important Links:

BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer for you now!

2019 Suicide Statistics

NAMI's Five Major Myths About Suicide

My Psychology Today article discussing how therapists can "see" through the armor of perfectionism

You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my websiteand receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click hereand answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has been published and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And it’s available in paperback, eBook or as an audiobook!

Now there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Aug 20, 2021

Sometimes I receive an email that tears at my heartstrings. And this week was one of those times. I’ll read you the email – the heads up is that it’s about a sudden and totally unexpected suicide that led its writer to reach out to me about perfectly hidden depression with the question – Can someone hide depression, even suicidal thinking, from themselves? I’ll give my unequivocal answer.

Our listener voicemail also mentions perfectly hidden depression, but is basically a question about what my thoughts are about when to go consider medication for depression. I’m not a prescriber nor a psychiatrist so I can only offer general thoughts on this topic as a psychologist, but I can address it.

I’m so thankful to so many of you for leaving reviews on Apple Podcasts – the last one said, “ This woman has changed my entire life! I didn’t even realize how traumatized I was or that I even needed therapy before this podcast. Nevertheless, my friend suggested that I listen and since then I have a consistent relationship with my therapist through BetterHelp.com, learned to building constructive boundaries, and working on my relationship with my parents! I love the space she’s created in helping us to understand larger context while providing relevant examples!! I love it here!!!

So thank you so much for those kind words, and we’ll hear once again today about an offer from BetterHelp!

Important Links:

BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer for you now!

2019 Suicide Statistics

NAMI's Five Major Myths About Suicide

My Psychology Today article discussing how therapists can "see" through the armor of perfectionism

You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my websiteand receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click hereand answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has been published and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And it’s available in paperback, eBook or as an audiobook!

Now there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Aug 13, 2021

Today we're going to focus on why we lie to each other, to ourselves and even in therapy. We'll touch on severe manipulative lying, called pathological lying, and compulsive lying, but most of the episode we'll discuss plain old lying. I found two wonderful articles on the subject and their links are below. Hopefully understanding the "why" might help you realize that there are other things you could do... and I, as always, suggest what you can do about it.

The listener voicemail for today is from someone who read my blogpost on enmeshment and is looking for some answers. Those of who had cruel or neglectful parents might not at all understand at this man’s plight, He was loved too much??? But whether or not the boundaries of parenting were nonexistent because you got manipulated through abuse, or whether they were nonexistent because you weren’t allowed or supported in building a life away from a parent, the damage can exist either way.

So, in this episode sponsored by Athletic Greens, let’s look at lying and what its function may be – even in therapy.

Important Links:

Click Here for the fabulous offer from Athletic Greens with bonus product with your subscription!

Time Magazine's article on the functions of lying

Article by Dr. Robyn Koslowitz in Psychology Today on lying in therapy

You can hear more about depression and many other topics by listening to Dr. Margaret’s podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to this website and receive her weekly blog posts and podcasts!

If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available! And you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Aug 10, 2021

On today's You Get the Gist, I’m wanting to make a couple of points that may or may not have occurred to you while you heard about or you were watching Simone Biles’ journey at the Olympics. First, I wondered what your first thought might’ve been when you heard Ms. Biles had initially opted out. And we fairly quickly learned it was because of her concerns about her focus – basically her impaired state of mental health – and how that might work to harm her physically. Or as she said to her team, “I don’t want to ruin your chances of winning…” with a less than stellar performance.

And second, did you put yourself in her shoes? Could you disappoint your boss, or your family, or your kids – due to your own concerns about your mental health? How many times have you done things that you realized on a core level might harm you, but you went ahead and did it? Would there be a limit to that? What would the boundary be for you to say, “No, I can’t.”

There’s a lot you can learn from your own reactions… so I’m here today simply asking a few questions of you – the answers are yours to be privately considered – and maybe changed if need be.

Important Links:

The Weight of Gold Official Trailer

Story of Brett Cohen's Prank on Celebrity

You can hear more about mental health and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

 

 

Aug 6, 2021

This week was very hard  as one of my close family members died suddenly. I didn’t know if I’d have the energy or even the ability to do a podcast. So, I looked for one that I might add on to - maybe about grief. And I found this podcast from a year and a half ago that fit. I'll focus first on what I've learned from many who are mourning about what can be a very difficult aspect of grief and somehow you can feel ashamed - of how you watch others' lives go on normally. And yours has changed so drastically. It's lonely. But we'll also talk about three things you can do to reach out in a meaningful and difference-making way to those who are grieving.

The listener voicemail today is from someone who’s in a relationship where finances are a source of conflict between them – and I’ve heard this problem quite a bit – and have learned to try to remember always to ask about financial arrangements in a partnership. Perhaps many of you have also had difficulty around the issue of money and fairness and trust – so hope it’ll be helpful to you.

So in this episode of SelfWork, sponsored again by BetterHelp, I hope both my experience as a therapist can help you, whether you're mourning, or watching someone you care about grieve. We'll all be in those situations and you can make a difference.

BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer for you now!

You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click hereand answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has been published and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And it’s available in paperback, eBook or as an audiobook!

Now there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

 

 

 

 

 

Jul 30, 2021

Do you or someone you know apologize all the time? This can stem from several dynamics – if you’re in an abusive relationship currently or there was trauma in your childhood where you’ve grown up believing that the fault when relationships or events go sour is somehow all yours. There’s also the presence of anxiety or more specifically OCD, or what’s termed “the spotlight effect”. We’ll talk about all of these and more.

So we’ll talk about how to catch yourself from that unnecessary “I’m sorry” and change it into something that notices when things aren’t quite right, but doesn’t indicate a one-down position.

The listener voicemails for today share two distinct ways of thinking about aging. I wrote a post called “Turning 58” years ago now – and both of them had strong reactions. The fact that they both were sent to me in a short period of time was ironic – and it would be easy to label one “Good” and the other one “bad.” I’d like us to listen instead with compassion and see what could help both.

So welcome to this episode of SelfWork sponsored by BetterHelp – and let’s talk about over-apologizing and as always, what to do about it.

Importnat Links:

The spotlight effect research described.

Beverly Engel's book The Power of an Apology,

Therapist Sharon Martin's take on how to stop apologizing .

The Swaddle's take about where the power of apologizing lies... and why some apologize and others don't.

Forbes article on how over-apologizing can steal your self-confidence.

My blogpost on Turning 58.

BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer for you now!

You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click hereand answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has been published and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And it’s available in paperback, eBook or as an audiobook!

Now there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jul 26, 2021

For today's YGTG, or "You Get the Gist", I was pondering what a patient of mine said the other day. He had to struggle a bit with the idea that therapy – for him – felt a little self-indulgent. He followed quickly up by saying, “I know it’s because I rarely if ever focus on myself. And it feels a little odd doing it. But it’s also not an easy thing to do. And most self-indulgences are that… easy things. Things that offer comfort. This definitely isn’t easy.”

What follows is a story about having a rock in your shoe - which I hope can stand as a metaphor for those who may not come into therapy for severe trauma or grief, depression or anxiety - but who can benefit greatly from realizing that dealing with something apparently "small" may have remarkable results.

You can hear more about mental health and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

 

 

Jul 23, 2021

The Hidden Opponent is the name of D1 College Athlete Victoria Garrick's TedTalk. And it's powerful. Who is she? She's a former Division I Volleyball Player, TED Talk Speaker and has now become a social media Influencer, and mental health advocate. Those are the facts about Victoria Garrick. She’s young, she’s incredibly energetic and passionate. She’s highly competitive. And she’s struggled with depression as well as a binge eating disorder, the latter of which she’s only now started opening up about.

After graduating from the University of Southern California in 2019, Victoria has traveled the country speaking on college campuses, hosts her hit podcast Real Pod, and creates daily content for her army of over 1.5M+ people who follow her message of authenticity and self-care on social media.

I know that those of you who are in college or recently out will be fascinated with her and parents whose kids are into sports also need to listen – as she opens up about how the competitiveness of sports and winning can, often unintentionally , work to create feelings of wanting it all to end . She’s also created a non-profit called “The Hidden Opponent” and is marshalling and creating support organizations for college athletes who need a place for their mental health struggles to be understood and accepted. The pressure can be immense as she explains in our interview. How coaches and teammates perceive mental health struggles can be a problem, how parents can be trying to understand but how there can be so much room for miscommunication.

So in this SelfWork episode, sponsored again by Athletic Greens, she opens her heart and her experience to all who will listen. I'll hope you join us.

Important Links:

Click Here for the fabulous offer from Athletic Greens with bonus product with your subscription!

Victoria's website and Real Pod podcast

Victoria's Ted Talk The Hidden Opponent

The Hidden Opponent Non-Profit Group

You can hear more about depression and many other topics by listening to Dr. Margaret’s podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to this website and receive her weekly blog posts and podcasts!

If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available! And you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jul 16, 2021

It’s been long known in the field of trauma that people who survive a car wreck, a mass shooting, or now, a worldwide viral pandemic – can often struggle with questions about why they survived, while someone right next to them, or someone they loved, did not. Parents who buried their children. Teachers who saw students gunned down. And of course, it’s a huge part of the PTSD felt by soldiers returning from war or anyone going through trauma.

So today’s episode, sponsored by  Athletic Greens, focuses on surviving your own guilt. But survivor’s guilt can also exist in a milder or perhaps we should say in a more subtle form. Someone’s house that remained standing after a tornado destroys others’ homes. A mom with three children whose best friend can’t get pregnant. Someone whose family openly accepted them as gay or trans while a partner’s family disowned them.

Our listener email is from someone whose teenager has come to them, telling them he is gay. And they turned to me for advice on where to go for good advice. I’ll do my best to let them, and you, know.

Important Links:

Click Here for the fabulous offer from Athletic Greens with bonus product with your subscription!

Two links from Grown and Flown's website: Advice on how to support your bisexual gay teen and 12 tips to help gay teens (both these references have great links to other sources...)

How to help someone come into their "window of tolerance" 

Wonderful article from a counseling website on survivor guilt

19 Survivor guilt symptoms

You can hear more about survivors guilt and many other topics by listening to Dr. Margaret’s podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to this website and receive her weekly blog posts and podcasts!

If you'd like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available! And you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there's another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You'll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you're giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I'll look forward to hearing from you!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jul 12, 2021

CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) is all about discovering your mental mistakes or cognitive distortions - or as the CBT folks say, “Your stinkin' thinkin." And CBT is the most recommended therapeutic method to fend off depression. It makes sense. It’s fairly easy to understand. And their premise is that if you change what you believe, then the emotions and actions that follow will be different and far healthier.

So today, in this episode sponsored again by BetterHelp, we’ll talk about the ten most common mental mistakes you can make and what to do about them.

The listener email for today is from a man whose addictions have created pain and severe illness. He takes responsibility but also states that his wife is stuck in believing that he’s feeling sorry for himself. He says he’s very depressed. This is a difficult situation where both sound angry and certainly not allied. What would you say to him? I’ll give it my own try..

Important Links:

BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer for you now!

An article describing David Burns' list of cognitive distortions from The Feeling Good Handbook

John Grohol's Psych Central article on ten ways to "fix" those mental mistakes

You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has been published and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And it's available in paperback, eBook or as an audiobook!

Now there's another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

Jul 9, 2021

We’re talking self-talk today on SelfWork;  What is it? And what can you do about it? A lot of people tell me they kinda “know” what it is, but haven't a clue how to change it. It feels as if it’s too elusive. How could you possibly rein in what your mind is telling you about something?

Today, in this episode sponsored by Athletic Greens, I'll offer six steps for this process. But I want to stress that it takes practice. And lots of it. So please be patient with yourself. The rewards can be incredible, but often you're trying to undo years of self-criticism that whispers almost constantly.

Our listener email from today is from someone who’s not getting over a divorce and links it with not having access to his emotions. So how do you access your emotions when it doesn't come easily for you?

Important links:

Click Here for the fabulous offer from Athletic Greens with bonus product with your subscription!

List of emotions: https://www.therapistaid.com/therapy-worksheet/list-of-emotions

You can hear more about depression and many other topics by listening to Dr. Margaret’s new podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to this website and receive her weekly blog posts and podcasts!

If you'd like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there's a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You'll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you're giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I'll look forward to hearing from you!

Jul 5, 2021

As I wrote the book Perfectly Hidden Depression, I included over sixty specific exercises that would make reading it more of an emotional challenge, rather than one more chance to analyze. There are both action-oriented and reflective exercises and hopefully, you'd come away with a journal full of fresh insights, guidance on effecting real change in your life and support for taking risks.

So today, in this episode sponsored by Athletic Greens,  I want to give you a taste of those exercises, so that you can get a sense of how this kind of change can be tried on for size. So many people want to change but start off with a plan that's way too difficult or hard to reach. Instead, these exercises are things you can do to help set yourself up for success – however it is that you would like to define that success. They include: creating a mantra, beginning to detach from shame, identifying emotions that are hard to feel, realizing underlying beliefs about worry and other feeling states, receiving positive recognition from others, and creating your own relationship graphic.

July 6th, I'll be giving my first CE course on PHD for therapists! And if  you’d like to sign up for this power-packed CEYou! conference, and get 15% of the whole thing – you can use this link and the coupon code “PresenterRef”.  I’ll be providing research and information on perfect hidden depression – both things that are in the book and things I’ve learned since writing it! And there are some other wonderful presenters! So, I’d love to have you there.

Our listener email is from someone who’s identified with perfectly hidden depression. But her specific problem lies with jealousy or difficulty as she tries to maintain a friendship with her ex.

Important Links:

Click Here for the fabulous offer from Athletic Greens with bonus product with your subscription!

You can hear more about depression and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

Jul 2, 2021

In today’s SelfWork, sponsored by BetterHelp, we’re going to be talking about how to enrich your emotional life through self-compassion. So many people tell me that they don’t know how to begin to risk feelings that have been suppressed for years. But when you do, you expand the emotions available to you, and enrich your own emotional life. I gave some basics in Episode 102 – so there are other ideas there as well. Today, i offer one simple exercise or visualization for you to try that might open an emotional door for you.

There’s always the caveat when I’m talking about reaching out to deeper feelings.That caveat is that trauma work – risking feeling emotions that are a result of trauma or abuse – often needs to be done with a trauma expert. You can get overwhelmed or even dissociate if by yourself. So please assess the risk carefully.

The listener email is from someone who’s angry that a loved one attempted suicide, although there is also great compassion. She’s confused and afraid she doesn’t have the right to be angry.

Important Links:

BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider has a special offer for you now!

You can hear more about emotional growth and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

Jul 2, 2021

In today’s SelfWork, sponsored by BetterHelp, we’re going to be talking about how to enrich your emotional life through self-compassion. So many people tell me that they don’t know how to begin to risk feelings that have been suppressed for years. But when you do, you expand the emotions available to you, and enrich your own emotional life. I gave some basics in Episode 102 – so there are other ideas there as well. Today, i offer one simple exercise or visualization for you to try that might open an emotional door for you.

There’s always the caveat when I’m talking about reaching out to deeper feelings.That caveat is that trauma work – risking feeling emotions that are a result of trauma or abuse – often needs to be done with a trauma expert. You can get overwhelmed or even dissociate if by yourself. So please assess the risk carefully.

The listener email is from someone who’s angry that a loved one attempted suicide, although there is also great compassion. She’s confused and afraid she doesn’t have the right to be angry.

Important Links:

BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider has a special offer for you now!

You can hear more about emotional growth and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

Jul 1, 2021

Depression can steal your sense of vitality. Your "get up and go" or your motivation to reach goals that mean something to you can disappear. It's called anhedonia -- basically the lack of pleasure in (or motivation for) activities that used to mean something to you or to try on new challenges.

But you don't have to be depressed for this to happen. Plain old insecurity can morph into passivity. And the dream of attaining certain goals can seem so far out of reach that you don't know how to become who you want to be.

Enter the "as if" technique. In this repeat episode, sponsored by Athletic Greens, Dr. Margaret will outline four basic steps that can guide you to find your motivation and make the changes possible that have seemed out of reach. And she gives both tangible and more intangible examples of how to make the progress you want to make.

The listener email for this week describes the pain that a mother or father can have if their child appears to have a volatile personality disorder. Can you have some kind of relationship with someone with BPD? It's one of the most asked questions in the emails Dr. Margaret receives as there is so much pain involved.

Important Links:

Click Here for the fabulous offer from Athletic Greens with bonus product with your subscription!

You can hear more about creating change and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

 

Jun 30, 2021

During the last week of June 2021 and first full week of July, we’re taking a bit of vacation – my awesome engineer has a fabulous move to make – and I’m getting ready to teach my first course on PHD to therapists! In fact, if you’d like to sign up for this power-packed CEYou! conference, and get 15% of the whole thing – you can use this link and the coupon code “PresenterRef” – at least up until the day of the conference which is July 6th, 2021. I’ll be providing research and information on perfect hidden depression – both things that are in the book and things I’ve learned since writing it! And there are some other wonderful presenters! So, I’d love to have you there.

So many of you write to me, telling me the thing you like best about SelfWork is that in almost every episode, I focus on “what you can do about it.” So, I chose six specific episodes that really talk about just that – steps, tips, techniques, common mistakes or distortions, and what has worked for either me or my patients thru the years. Mental health issues are often complex; however, there’s often a place you can gain hope, start broadening your own understanding, learning something new to try, or screwing up the courage to risk a change.

In this episode, sponsored by BetterHelp, we’re focusing on what are confusions about destructive perfectionism and living a highly controlled life – and I’m answering six listener questions coming from you. And as I said, what you can do about it.

BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider has a special offer for you now!

You can hear more about mental health and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism or need for control which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions, long hidden away, that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

Jun 27, 2021

I remember taking the Enneagram years ago - and quite frankly, I got pretty defensive about the results. It's funny now to think about! "This isn't me," I sarcastically decided. But I learned a lot about not only that defensiveness but the great insights the Enneagram has to offer through this conversation with author, speaker and Enneagram expert Beth McCord. She and her husband Jeff created Your Enneagram Coach, after spending years training under the top Enneagram experts, Beth is now leading the way in simplifying what she terms as the  "deep truths of the Enneagram." We kept this interview quite ecumenical but the McCords do add a biblical perspective as they teach. Beth believes strongly that the Enneagram can help you understand not only what you think and feel, but why you think and feel what you do.

So welcome to this bonus episode of SelfWork, sponsored by the wonderful Athletic Greens!

Important Links:

Click Here for the fabulous offer from Athletic Greens with bonus product with your subscription!

Becoming Us: Using the Enneagram to Create a Thriving Gospel-Centered Marriage by Beth and Jeff McCord

For Beth's own Enneagram test, click here! 

You can hear more about mental health and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism or need for control which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions, long hidden away, that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

 

 

Jun 25, 2021

What are the Sunday Scaries? it's the phenomenon that so many experience at the end of the week, or perhaps more importantly, the end of the weekend – and the anticipation of entering the following work week. It’s very real, although it’s a little difficult to specifically define. Because it has lots of ways of being handled, or I guess not handled.. Whether you get angry, go to bed, escape thru alcohol or video gaming - or whether you tough it out - what occurs is what may have been your fleeting or even truly good mood evaporates into thin air – almost every Sunday. Like clockwork. You dread its coming – and you dread your dread. I hear things like, “I get paralyzed by around 3:00 on Sunday. And I can feel my mood darkening for what seems like no reason. Except it’s Sunday.”

So today on SelfWork, sponsored by BetterHelp, we’re going to talk about these Sunday Scaries, how the pandemic has changed them (what I decided should be called the Seven Day Steady Scaries) and as always, what you can do about it.

Here are the basic five tangible tips:

  • Get back into a schedule of work and time-off. Set boundaries between work time and play time.
  • Realize if your actual depression or anxiety is worsening to the point that you need a different mode of treatment.
  • Plan – with flexibility. Don't put all your happiness into one scenario happening. Develop a Plan B and even Plan C as well.
  • Look for what you can do about a job that’s unsatisfying. You may feel trapped but with some fresh ideas, maybe you're not.
  • Focus on what your time-off expectations are and how you and your partner can help one another meet those expectations.

The SpeakPipe listener recording today is from a woman who’s scared to transition from the job she’s had for years as a clinical supervisor into private practice – and is asking me for any help I might give. She has to balance out her fear of leaving with the reality of burnout. So, what would you say? 

Important Links:

BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider has a special offer for you now!

Vice article on the origins of the term "Sunday Scaries"

Article on how displacement of time a factor in weekend blues

 RealSimple article on Sunday Blues

Monster.com's ideas on eliminating Sunday Scaries

You can hear more about mental health and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism or need for control which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions, long hidden away, that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

 

 

.

 

 

 

 

Jun 18, 2021

Today on SelfWork we’re going to be talking about what have been called “daddy issues” as Father’s Day is upcoming and many children will be honoring their fathers who were there for them and with whom they enjoyed an emotionally safe and stable relationship. We'll talk about how this term has been used in a pejorative way, and replace it with "parent issues," which is far more realistic. Chief among the issues is sexual abuse.  But in this episode, sponsored by Athletic Greens, I want to cover two other major dynamics that can cause a parent/child relationship to be damaging -  enmeshment and abandonment - or being emotionally unavailable. There are many others - the addicted parent, the critical parent, the mentally unstable parent. Below you'll find a couple of links to episodes that cover those topics as well. I’ll pull from the wisdom of my own therapy clients as they’ve seen for themselves what was wrong – and did their best to change it.

The Speak Pipe listener question is from a man who has identified with perfectly hidden depression but now feels overrun by emotions that he’s struggling to control. What would you say?

Important Links:

Click Here for the fabulous offer from Athletic Greens with bonus product with your subscription!

Article on four of Jung's archetypes

The Father Archetype

New podcast called "Daddy Issues" 

SelfWork Episode on trying to love a borderline parent

Dr. Margaret's Course on Facing Depression, exclusively on Himalaya (and the offer includes a 2-week free trial)

You can hear more about mental health and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism or need for control which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions, long hidden away, that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

 

 

Jun 18, 2021

Today on SelfWork we’re going to be talking about what have been called “daddy issues” as Father’s Day is upcoming and many children will be honoring their fathers who were there for them and with whom they enjoyed an emotionally safe and stable relationship. We'll talk about how this term has been used in a pejorative way, and replace it with "parent issues," which is far more realistic. Chief among the issues is sexual abuse.  But in this episode, sponsored by Athletic Greens, I want to cover two other major dynamics that can cause a parent/child relationship to be damaging -  enmeshment and abandonment - or being emotionally unavailable. There are many others - the addicted parent, the critical parent, the mentally unstable parent. Below you'll find a couple of links to episodes that cover those topics as well. I’ll pull from the wisdom of my own therapy clients as they’ve seen for themselves what was wrong – and did their best to change it.

The Speak Pipe listener question is from a man who has identified with perfectly hidden depression but now feels overrun by emotions that he’s struggling to control. What would you say?

Important Links:

Click Here for the fabulous offer from Athletic Greens with bonus product with your subscription!

Article on four of Jung's archetypes

The Father Archetype

New podcast called "Daddy Issues" 

SelfWork Episode on trying to love a borderline parent

Dr. Margaret's Course on Facing Depression, exclusively on Himalaya (and the offer includes a 2-week free trial)

You can hear more about mental health and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism or need for control which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions, long hidden away, that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

 

 

Jun 11, 2021

There's a fierce search out there to get yourself, to know who you are and how you impact others. It's why assessments like the Myers-Briggs and the Enneagram are so popular. And how their language can become very personal and special to someone who uses it regularly. So, when I listened in on the first two episodes of "The Me You Can't See" , a new documentary on mental illness, produced by Oprah Winfrey and Prince Harry, I thought about this search for ourselves. Prince Harry pointed out that with so many who’ve carried silent emotional pain for many years, the question isn’t, "What’s wrong with you, the question is -  what happened to you?”

So today on SelfWork, sponsored by Athletic Greens, we’re going to be talking about the frightening fact that perhaps you cannot see me – as the title of their extraordinary program reflects – but also about the fact that so many of us struggle to see ourselves.

Because this is true:  You cannot see me, but perhaps neither can I.

The listener email today is a very painful one from a young woman who was sexually abused in her past which was perpetrated by a family member, but who also found out that the same family member sexually abused her daughter. Her mother doesn’t know – and she doesn’t know whether to tell her or not. What would you say?

Here are the questions I suggested she ask herself with a therapist:

  • What do you hope to gain from telling your mother?
  • Do you have any preconceptions about how your mother will respond?
  • Are you counting on some kind of apology from your mom?
  • How would you handle it if she says you and your daughter are lying?
  • How will you handle your other family members knowing if your mother tells them and they “pick sides”?
  • Do you think you’re telling your mom as a substitute for being able to confront your dad?
  • Did you think your mom knew? Does she have the capacity to admit that if she indeed did?
  • Would you believe her answer?

And the most important dynamic is: Don't revictimize yourself if you choose to confront. Or in any way.

Important Links:

Click Here for the fabulous offer from Athletic Greens with bonus product with your subscription!

"The Me You Can't See" -  the new documentary produced by Oprah Winfrey and Prince Harry

Dr. Margaret's Course on Facing Depression, exclusively on HImalaya (and the offer includes a 2-week free trial)

You can hear more about mental health and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism or need for control which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions, long hidden away, that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

.

 

 

Jun 4, 2021

In today's episode of SelfWork, we'll focus on toxic positivity and how it's very different from gratitude. I was motivated by an intriguing interview I heard on the podcast “Terrible – Thanks for Asking” with author and Harvard professor Susan David. She was talking about her own work with what she terms "emotional agility" - couching it in a story about her own father's death. An 8th grade teacher gave her permission to not judge any feeling, but honor it.  She now teaches that, "Being positive is a new form of moral correctness," and reminds us that, "Life’s beauty is inseparable from its fragility." So today, in this episode sponsored by BetterHelp, I'll pull in the work of other experts, Dr. Shauna Springer, Jon Kabat-Zinn, and the authors of Buddha's Brain, Rick Hanson and Richard Mendius. Finally, I’ll give you my own common-sense and hopefully helpful analogy to fully understand the benefit of being competent to feel all feelings, regardless of their valence or positive or negative power.

Jon Kabat-Zinn says in his book Wherever You Go, There You Are, "We can easily become a prisoner of so-called positive thinking as of negative thinking. It too can be confining, fragmented, inaccurate, illusory, self-serving and wrong.” So although positivity is something we definitely want to cultivate, it can morph into a rigid state of mind that can be hurtful to you, and to others.

Our listener email wasn’t an email at all, but an Instagram message to me by a listener. She wanted to know, as a therapist still in training, what direction would I suggest so that she can evolve into her own most competent therapeutic role. What an honor to be asked! So perhaps if any of you are thinking of being therapists or are in training yourself, my answers will be helpful.

Important Links:

BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer for you now!

Susan David's TedTalk

Buddha’s Brain Audiobook

Wherever You Go, There You Are  Audiobook

Emotional Agility by Susan David Audiobook

You can hear more about mental health and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism or need for control which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions, long hidden away, that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

 

 

May 30, 2021

So welcome to all of you on this second of a two-part series on veterans' suicide on this Memorial Day weekend, once again sponsored by Athletic Greens.  The story you're going to hear from this young woman is one you'll likely never forget. Danica Thomas was the wife of a career military guy, Alan Thomas. But his military career ended in a traumatic way as did his life. And Danica, who married him and became a mom very early in her twenties, was faced with things she never imagined trying to handle or take in stride. Life has dealt her and her family a huge blow that also dramatically and tragically caused others' suffering. Danica has dedicated her life to trying to improve the mental health services that returning soldiers receive from the VA. You'll be moved, maybe angered, maybe shocked, and certainly saddened by her story, but you'll also hear her courage and determination to fight this fight.

Now Danica is a fierce activist for mental health treatment and expanded care for America's combat veterans. She is now the chairman of the Susan M Tillis foundation. She's a national ambassador for PREVENTS and a key advisor for the OpRES Suicide Prevention Fund. She and her two daughters live outside Charlotte, North Carolina.  If you've had suicide in your family, if you've ever had those kinds of thoughts, please listen to this with caution; the suicide hotline is below.

Other Important Links:

Click this link to try Athletic Greens wonderful offer as a SelfWork Listener!

The National Suicide Prevention Hotline

You can hear more about mental health and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism or need for control which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions, long hidden away, that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

 

 

 

 
May 28, 2021

Welcome to a two-part series created to highlight our veterans and first responders, all whose suicide rates are very high. If you're a veteran or first responder, or you love one, this series is a must listen.

Today's interview is with Dr. Shauna Springer, better known to her veteran clients as "Doc." The story of how she learned how to work with veterans' trauma actually holds within it a far broader approach and hope to anyone who might be trying to heal from invisible wounds. You may be surprised to learn what those actual wounds are - not the ones we typically think of as civilians. But rather, ones that belong to those that experience a vital bond with the people that fight beside them. And if that bond is broken or damaged, shame, guilt and a vast emptiness can be created - feelings that last far longer than actual memories of violence.

Shauna ‘Doc’ Springer is a best-selling author, frequently requested keynote speaker, and one of the world's leading experts on psychological trauma, military transition, suicide prevention, and close relationships. She is the author of WARRIOR: How to Support Those Who Protect Us and the co-author of BEYOND THE MILITARY: A Leader’s Handbook for Warrior Reintegration. A Harvard graduate who has become a trusted Doc to our nation’s military warfighters, she navigates different cultures with exceptional agility. As Chief Psychologist for Stella, she advances a new model for treating psychological trauma that combines biological and psychological interventions. Doc Springer is a licensed psychologist who is frequently sourced by the media for her uniquely perceptive insights on trauma recovery, post-traumatic growth, psychological health, and interpersonal relationships, developed from two decades of work at the extremes. Doc Springer’s work has been featured in multiple media outlets, including CNN, VICE, NPR, NBC, CBS Radio, Forbes, Business Insider, Military Times, Military.com, Gun Talk Radio, Coffee or Die Magazine, Havok Journal, THRIVE GLOBAL, Police1, Anxiety.org, Washington Post, and Psychology Today.

Other important links:

BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer for you now!

Dr. Shauna Springer's Speaking Page

Overcoming Barriers to Treatment (based on Chapter 2 of Dr. Shauna Springer's book WARRIOR):  https://youtu.be/oNUiCNDYeys

You can hear more about mental health and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism or need for control which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions, long hidden away, that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

Image courtesy of Pixels.

 

« Previous 1 2 3 4 Next »