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The SelfWork Podcast

I'm Dr. Margaret, a psychologist for over 25 years and the author of Perfectly Hidden Depression. I created The SelfWork Podcast in 2016 to explain mental health treatment, and to give you the chance to consider therapy without thinking it's weird or somehow suggests you can't "fix" your own problems. My team is so honored that five years later, SelfWork has earned nearly 3.5 million downloads! Each episode features the popular listener question. And, once a month, you’ll hear a “You Get the Gist” segment - a five minute run-down of a current topic - as well as an interview with an outstanding guest author or expert, adding to the wide diversity of topics listeners so appreciate. Regularly rated as one of the top mental health/depression podcasts out there, I keep it short and casual - and I'd love to hear from you. Please join me.
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Now displaying: November, 2020
Nov 27, 2020

Whether or not you believe that dreams have meaning (and almost half of Americans think that’s true…), you probably have had many types of dreams. Today, in another episode sponsored by BetterHelp, we're going to talk about the diverse categories of dreams  – and then the proposed “meaning” of those very dreams. We'll look into what can bring nightmares on as well as the most recent research on what's termed "lucid dreaming." Early psychiatrists certainly believed and espoused that dreams had unconscious meanings – that they are created by the part of our mind that lives in the background of our consciousness but influences and guides us. So today we’ll talk about nine categories of dreams and then travel into the land of what dreams may mean.. maybe for fun or maybe, for those of you who have a strong relationship with your dreams, to employ them for healing.

Our listener email today is from a young woman who’s suffered multiple traumas in her life… sexual abuse and her mother’s dying right in front of her.. Terrible things. And she wonders how to heal.. and if she can have hope..

Importants Links: We have a lot of them today!

BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer for you now!

A Psychology Today article on dreaming

Book by Preston Ni.. and referenced article 

Quote from Dr. Kelly Bulkeley

Information about the cause of nightmares on WebMD

YouTube video on dreaming

What dreams may mean  article in VeryWell Mind

Very recent research at MIT on lucid dreaming

C-PTSD information on VeryWell Mind

You can hear more about mental health and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

 

 

 

 

Nov 20, 2020

A  few weeks ago, a patient looked at me and said, “I realized that what I needed  - I’d had all along. It’s like the ruby red slippers. You simply have to know their power and your own power.”

I haven’t been able to get that notion out of my head since that session. We all have the capacity to learn, to understand, to see and to have confidence in ourselves - but we can sabotage and discount our strengths, values, talents, and gut feelings. In this episode, I decided to trust my own red slippers in this episode, sponsored by BetterHelp, and allow my own mind and heart to create a list of ten things that can build self-confidence - and with humility I bring it to you.

This is Movember – the month where men’s issues, specifically in the way so many disregard their medical and mental health, are highlighted by men growing mustaches – in a light-hearted but very sincere attempt to throw light on men. Thus the listener email is from a man who writes that he’s begun having symptoms of anxiety and panic at a time when he and his wife are having troubles and she wants a separation.

Important Links:

BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer for you now!

You can hear more about mental health and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

Photo by Lisa Fotios from Pexels.

 

 

Nov 18, 2020

Trigger Alert: This episode discusses childhood sexual abuse, so please listen with care.

Movember is a movement whose focus is to raise concern and awareness about the state of men's health, both medical and mental, in the United States. I myself have seen firsthand how extremely difficult it is for many men to seek help or open up at all about what’s going on with them. So I thought about who I could approach to help achieve Movember’s mission, and one person immediately came to mind. That person was Lewis Howes, and he graciously agreed to be interviewed.

Lewis overcame tremendous obstacles, including a learning disability, bullying and sexual abuse on his way to becoming a media sensation and a New York Times bestselling author. His podcast, The School of Greatness, is rated in the top 100 of all podcasts, garnering 250 million downloads in seven short years. His books, the first also entitled The School of Greatness, and his second, The Masks of Masculinity, have reached millions of readers as well. All while he followed his own path to working through the very experiences that had led him to be angry and feel victimized at every turn for years. He's here on SelfWork to talk about those experiences, and the necessary but frightening choices he made to open up about what had happened, allow others to truly see him, and to achieve a much deeper way of living.

Important Links:

BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer for you now!

The School of Greatness Podcast

Dr, Margaret's Interview on The School of Greatness

The School of Greatness (book)

The Masks of Masculinity

You can hear more about mental health and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Nov 13, 2020

I’ve been surprised over the years about the things people believe about alcohol use that’s very old-school. For example, that for the use of alcohol to be a problem, you’ve got to be lying in a ditch somewhere, having lost your job and friends. Or if you can go a long time without drinking, then you don’t have an issue.

Statistics show that one out of every eight people in the US fit criteria for alcohol use disorder, as it’s called now. It can cause all kinds of pain for both the drinker and those that love them. Especially curiously for those who are high-functioning drinkers – people whose lives look quite intact socially and/or professionally, who can be quite successful and engaged in their own right. Yet they drink. A lot. Whether it’s a part of family gatherings, the music you listen to, gameday celebrations – if you drink to celebrate and drink to grieve – it can be detrimental to just about everything about you.

And what remains astounding is how easy it is to stay in denial about it. So that's the topic for today on SelfWork, with this episode again sponsored by BetterHelp.

The listener emails was from someone who was letting me know that my writing had been disappointing to her. And so I listened and responded.

Important Links:

BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer for you now!

Top Ten Country Drinking Songs

Discussion of criteria for Alcohol Use Disorder

What's happening with alcohol use with the pandemic

One Year No Beer Sobriety Article

Episode 058 on Codependency

Codependent No More

Facing Codependence

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helpline at 1-800-662-4357 for information on support and treatment facilities in your area.

You can hear more about mental health and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

 

 

Nov 10, 2020

I originally wrote this in July of 2016 in the wake of natural disasters, shootings, and tragedies overseas. I’m offering it again to you today with a few nods to what we are going through together as the world faces this pandemic. I wish you all well.

I sat down to write early this morning, and could only think of the many tragedies, caused by humans and by nature, that have been occurring for the last few weeks and months. I felt paralyzed. Broadcasters keep using the term "unprecedented" and they are right. Especially here in the United States, there are few areas where there is not division and unrest. 

How could what I have to say matter? Then I remembered a stranger's kindness, and I smiled.

We can always choose kindness. 

You can hear more about mental health and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

We can always choose kindness.

Nov 6, 2020

I thought today might be a great day to post an episode about acting maturely, as we in the US have gone through a very divisive election and hopefully will be trying to mend and heal and carry on. I'll be back next week and can't wait to fill you in on what's been happening!

This is a very early episode... but the message is one that's a thread throughout my clinical work with patients - and now, you.

Feeling mature, decisive, not being reactive but responsive, having insight into our own behavior and changing that behavior when it’s appropriate – when we can do these things, we are acting in our adult selves. So much of how or how long that takes depends on what happened to us as kids. In this episode, sponsored by BetterHelp, we'll talk about your childhood strategies – the ways you unconsciously coped with whatever was present in your family. If you’re still using the same guide or strategy, you might be stuck, or not actually dealing with life as it is now. We'll define not only different strategies, but how and why you came up with them. What are clues that you’re still using your childhood strategy, and how you can change it — if it’s not working for you now?

You can hear more about mental health and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click hereand answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

Nov 1, 2020

Today is the first anniversary of Perfectly Hidden Depression's  publication and I'm honored to tell you that it's being translated into seven more languages, including Korean, Hungarian, and Russian. So in this episode, sponsored by BetterHelp, and when we're on a bit of vacation, I'm reposting your questions and my answers about PHD.

The first is from a writer who is losing her battle between creativity and perfectionism; the second from a wife and mother who is busy all day, but feels “blah” at night. A young woman used the SpeakPipe feature of the podcast (see below..) and  asks about how to move from what she terms “self-hatred” to “self-love." And the last is from a man who’s tried therapist after therapist, but now realizes that he tried to be the perfect patient and never revealed parts of himself that might show him in a vulnerable light. How can he begin to be real?

Thank you for all these questions! If you're interested, I've also shared the first published excerpt from my book, Perfectly Hidden Depression, on my website -- just click here! 

Important links:

BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer for you now!

The Questionnaire for perfectly hidden depression

The National Suicide Hotline

You can hear more about coping with depression and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

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