CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy( is all about discovering your mental mistakes or cognitive distortions - or as the CBT folks say, “Your stinkin thinkin". And CBT is the most recommended therapeutic method to fend off depression. It makes sense. It’s fairly easy to understand. And their premise is that if you change what you believe, then the emotions and actions that follow will be different and far healthier.
So today, in this episode sponsored again by BH, we’ll talk about the ten most common mental mistakes you can make and what to do about them.
The listener email for today is from a man whose addictions have created pain and severe illness. He takes responsibility but also states that his wife is stuck in believing that he’s feeling sorry for himself. He says he’s very depressed. This is a difficult situation where both sound angry and certainly not allied. What would you say to him? I’ll give it my own try..
Important Links:
BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer for you now!
An article describing David Burns' list of cognitive distortions from The Feeling Good Handbook
John Grohol's Psych Central article on ten ways to "fix" those mental mistakes
You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!
My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has been published and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And it's available in paperback, eBook or as an audiobook!
Now there's another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!
Hello everyone! Quick announcement today! I'm giving a free two-part workshop that begins this Thursday, July 30th at 6:00 CST and will continue on August 13th at the same time. It's entitled Perfectionism Meets Pandemic and is hosted by The Sisterhood for Success!
It's on the benefits and potential dangers of perfectionism, how the pandemic is affecting those with perfectionistic traits, and we'll also go into why someone develops the need for a perfect-looking life and what it may look like in every day life. Many perfectionists don't think they are "perfectionists" because they never give themselves credit for how well they do!
The first workshop will be recorded and available on my website so register if you can't make it!
I hope you'll join me! All you have to do is register through clicking this this link. Hope to see you there!
There’s a psychological dynamic called approach/avoidance and it’s when something you desire has both positive and negative implications. But the same words are used in considering relationships, where approach/avoidance (or withdrawal) can lead to a true deadlock and constantly recycle itself, with misunderstanding, grief, hurt and resentment steadily increasing.
You might think of approach as being the more controlling of the two energies, especially if the approach is made in anger. But my observations have been that withdrawal is incredibly potent. So in today’s episode of SelfWork sponsored by BetterHelp, we’re going to talk about that very potency and, as always, what you can do about it.
The listener email for today is from a young woman who read a blog post of mine on perfectly hidden depression (and now has become a listener) and wants know how to find a therapist. This is probably in the top five of all questions I receive and I'll answer it today.
Important Links:
BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer for you now!
The list of the fifteen most compelling movie "goodbyes"
Article written on the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse – defined by Julie and John Gottman, very well-known marriage researchers.
Podcast on finding and interviewing a potential therapist
You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!
My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has been published and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And it's available in paperback, eBook or as an audiobook!
Now there's another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!
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Transparency about my own journey with mental health has been very important to me, especially since writing on social media. I've named the illnesses that I've experienced: panic disorder and anorexia. But I haven’t told the full story - the “why” of either of these problems – at least as best I understand it from my own perspective – and the perspectives of several therapists over the years.
I see them both now as issues with control. Trying to get control. Trying to hide from feeling out of control . Fearing looking out of control. So, in episode 189 sponsored by BetterHelp, I’m inspired and a little nervous today to tell you my story.
The listener email is from a young woman whose mom is undergoing some type of emotional breakdown after the death of her own father and how that dynamic could be affecting the writer’s choice about getting out of a relationship.
Important Link:
BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer for you now!
You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!
My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has been published and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And it's available in paperback, eBook or as an audiobook!
Now there's another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!
Risking the unfamiliar is something I focus on with almost every client I see, because we all get in the habit of adopting one emotional “face” – or have one emotion that’s our primary go-to response to almost anything. Some of those responses are more healthy than others, but the point of this episode will be to wonder what would happen if you risked feeling something you don’t ordinarily feel?
We'll talk about what's called The Karpman Triangle a bit, which is when someone is stuck in a victim/savior/persecutor response set. And I'll give four steps on how to risk feeling or saying or doing something unfamiliar. It can be transformative.
The listener email for today is from a young woman who in the last six months has experienced unbelievable trials – and now is suffering from a desire to be invisible and alone. I’ll do my best to help her understand that what she’s experiencing is tremendous trauma.
Important Links:
BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer for you now!
A well-written Forbes article describing The Karpman Triangle response set
This extremely poignant article by Courtney Enlow on depression and wanting to become invisible.
You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!
My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has been published and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And it's available in paperback, eBook or as an audiobook!
Now there's another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!
The answer to the title question is yes. Most of us who aren’t in denial about the seriousness of this pandemic are experiencing more anxiety.. We’re washing our hands more - careful about what we pick up or how we touch things -wearing masks or even face shields. Today, in this episode sponsored by BetterHelp, I’m going to share some facts about how three different mental illnesses may be emerging or escalating during this Covid pandemic.
First OCD, obsessive-compulsive disorder Second, phobias – such as germaphobia (fear of germs/bacteria/viruses) or agoraphobia (fears concerning leaving the house – more limiting than social anxiety) And third, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or PTSD.
The listener email is from someone who's heard from their partner that they're stepping on the identity of their partner. Yet they feel unaware and are asking for my help. It's an interesting question to ask: What if I'm not aware and don't agree with what my partner is questioning?
Important Links:
BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer for you now!
Very well-explained article in Web MD about Germaphobia and OCD
Here’s a great breakdown of the different “kinds” of obsessions and their accompanying compulsions
You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!
My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And it's available in paperback, eBook or as an audiobook!
Now there's another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!