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The SelfWork Podcast

I'm Dr. Margaret, a psychologist for over 25 years and the author of Perfectly Hidden Depression. I created The SelfWork Podcast in 2016 to explain mental health treatment, and to give you the chance to consider therapy without thinking it's weird or somehow suggests you can't "fix" your own problems. My team is so honored that five years later, SelfWork has earned nearly 3.5 million downloads! Each episode features the popular listener question. And, once a month, you’ll hear a “You Get the Gist” segment - a five minute run-down of a current topic - as well as an interview with an outstanding guest author or expert, adding to the wide diversity of topics listeners so appreciate. Regularly rated as one of the top mental health/depression podcasts out there, I keep it short and casual - and I'd love to hear from you. Please join me.
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Now displaying: 2018
Jul 6, 2018

Bipolar disorder is a mental illness many people don’t understand and can be difficult to diagnose. Being moody is one thing. But being bipolar means your emotions can swing from high to low, with no apparent (and that’s an important word) reason for them doing so. Discovering how to manage bipolar is key to living […]

The post 084 SelfWork: What Bipolar Disorder Is And What It Isn’t appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Jun 29, 2018

Talking matters! Exciting research now shows that when mentally ill people share openly about their mental illness, it changes others’ perceptions. Today’s two guests on SelfWork are doing incredible and thrilling work to prove that when people talk about their own disorders, it changes the hearts and minds of others, decreasing stigma and a previously […]

The post 083 SelfWork: Talking Matters. Interview with Jennifer Marshall, Co-founder of This Is My Brave and Dr. Kristin Kosyluk appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Jun 22, 2018

Loneliness is hard no matter when or where it happens. This episode, sponsored by Audible.com, gives ten ways to combat or confront apathy and loneliness in your relationship or marriage. Feeling lonely in a relationship can also be devastating, as your lives are lived side by side but there’s little to no real connection. You’re […]

The post 082 SelfWork: Confronting the Loneliness and Apathy of Living Parallel Lives appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Jun 15, 2018

When sexual abuse occurs within a family, it can wreak mental, physical and emotional damage for the victim that’s complicated to heal. The stats tell us that 34% of cases of child sexual abuse occur in families. That figure is staggering, but my clinical experience over the years backs that figure up. In this episode, […]

The post 081 SelfWork: When Sexual Abuse Happens at Home — The Choice to Confront appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Jun 14, 2018

Today’s podcast is in response to what has been a more than difficult week for many who looked up to and followed these two celebrities, Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain. If you are one of them, or certainly someone who knew them personally, then our hearts are with you. It may be however you’re one […]

The post 080 SelfWork: Kate Spade. Anthony Bourdain. Are We Asking The Right Questions? appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Jun 8, 2018

Stuart Walker is a friend to all, the owner of two successful gyms in Arkansas, and a dad and father of three children, two of whom have autism and one with other disabilities and significant physical problems. And he was suicidal for months before he finally broke down and sought help. Stuart is the exact […]

The post 079 SelfWork: Perfectly Hidden. An Interview with Stuart Walker appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Jun 1, 2018

“How can I forgive myself?” is a question I hear often as a therapist. We all can do things that we find more than difficult to forgive ourselves for, hurting people we care about or making a mistake that now carries guilt or shame. The opposite of this process is how people with narcissism view […]

The post 078 SelfWork: Five Not-So-Simple Steps Toward Self-Forgiveness appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

May 25, 2018

When you’re trying to move out of depression, negativity and “feeling stuck” — feeling hopeless about change — can be your worst enemies. How do you get your energy going outward instead of imploding inward? It’s often not easy. Here’s a simple exercise that can help you do just that. Even if you’re not depressed, […]

The post 077 SelfWork: Confronting Negativity And “Feeling Stuck” In Depression appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

May 18, 2018

Infertility treatment can be an exhausting and lonely journey. I went through it myself, and was blessed to conceive a son through in vitro fertilization. In today’s podcast, I’ll offer ten things that can help keep you sane and emotionally stable, even in the midst of feeling so out of control. These tips could be […]

The post 076 SelfWork: 10 Ways To Survive Infertility Treatment appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

May 11, 2018

Sarah Fader, author, blogger and staunch warrior in the fight for education and openness about mental illness, is my first guest on SelfWork. Her work was featured in a powerful piece on The Washington Post as she speaks candidly about her own diagnoses — Anxiety, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder and Bipolar Disorder — (which can be confusing […]

The post 075 SelfWork: Interview with StigmaFighter’s Founder Sarah Fader appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

May 4, 2018

Today on SelfWork, we’re going to be looking at research asking the question is suicide predictable. There is also controversy about whether or not it’s preventable – I recently had a mom whose daughter had accidentally overdosed tell me with tears in her eyes. “I can’t go there. I can’t believe that I could’ve predicted […]

The post 074 SelfWork: Depression and The Unpredictability of Suicide appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Apr 27, 2018

Welcome to SelfWork! I’m talking about self-control today… especially emotional self-control. We won’t touch on addictions, although they obviously have to do with emotional self-control. We’re talking about in the realm of communication how to maintain self-control when you’re angry, or taken aback, afraid or surprised. There’s a simple mantra that can be helpful — […]

The post 073 SelfWork: Three Steps To Emotionally Get Control Of Yourself appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Apr 20, 2018

Today’s podcast identifies the one question that you can ask yourself before you take things too personally. I’ve heard lots of couples bicker and fight over the twenty-five years I’ve been a therapist, and this question will save you from so many assumptions and misunderstandings. I’ll use an example when I actually followed my own […]

The post 072 SelfWork: The One Question To Ask Yourself If You Take Things Too Personally appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Apr 13, 2018

Today’s topic is perfectionism. I call it a disease in the title because it can cause not only emotional and psychological problems when it’s out of control, but the stress of perfectionism can lead to illness and even suicide. I talked with a phenomenal expert on perfectionism last week, Dr. Gordon Flett, and I’ll have some […]

The post 071 SelfWork: The Disease of Perfectionism appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Apr 6, 2018

What do you do when you love someone who won’t get help for their depression or anxiety? This episode, sponsored by Audible.com, will focus on what my own research has found, and how we can talk about mental health treatment or therapy in a way that would make it far easier for men to consider. We’ll […]

The post 070 SelfWork: How To Love Someone Who Won’t Get Help appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Mar 30, 2018

We’re going to be talking about healthy and not so healthy relationships today. Many relationships get their start with one person “saving” another. These are boundary-less relationship and they’re doomed for trouble. The victim gets tired of being the victim. The savior gets tired of not being appreciated for saving.  Mark Manson, a blogger with […]

The post 069 SelfWork: The Victim-Savior Relationship. How You Get In It and How You Get Out Of It appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Mar 23, 2018

What is a family of choice? It’s a family you create with friends. Some of us don’t have families that we can count on in times of stress or need, or joy for that matter. Instead of staying bitter or lonely, I’ve come up with five “caveats” in finding people who would earn the right […]

The post 068 SelfWork: How To Create A Family Of Choice appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Mar 16, 2018

Social anxiety affects millions of Americans. Today I’m going to talk about how it may be affecting commitment, as well as how it’s affected by social media. When you get a FaceBook invitation or a “save the date” notice, do you automatically say, “It’s too much to think about,” or,  “I don’t know who else is going,” or even, “I […]

The post 067 SelfWork: Understanding Social Anxiety And The Fear Of Commitment appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Mar 9, 2018

We all hear about unconditional love, especially when talking about how parents feel about their children. However, unconditional love can be worn out — used up. Even though today’s podcast focuses on healthy, “good enough” parents and self-destructive and manipulative children, you can apply this to any relationship, so listen in!  (This dynamic can obviously […]

The post 066 SelfWork: Can Unconditional Love Be Used Up? appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Mar 2, 2018

I created a lot of chaos in my life by being attracted to “bad boys,” men who were not interested in my own growth as a person, and who acted as if women couldn’t be trusted and that love wasn’t possible. I, like many women before me, decided to try to change a mind or […]

The post 065 SelfWork: What I Learned About Bad Boys And Creating A Life I Liked appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Feb 23, 2018

Procrastination can be a huge problem, with shame over things not accomplished or put off being a problem between parents and children, husband and wives, or supervisors and employees. But there’s more than one reason why it’s happening, and understanding that reason can guide the way toward what you can do about it. Today we’ll […]

The post 064 SelfWork: What Could Be Causing Your Procrastination? appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Feb 16, 2018

  Couples counseling can make individual counseling look like a breeze. In today’s podcast, sponsored by Audible.com, I’ll go through the four misconceptions or “hurdles” that people believe or face when they consider couples work. The benefits can be immense. You can learn how to really listen, how to change entrenched painful patterns, and how […]

The post 063 SelfWork: Going To Couples Counseling. What’s Getting In Your Way? appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Feb 9, 2018

Today we’re talking about parents who can’t let go of their children, and adult children who are struggling to have their own lives, independent of a parent. This dynamic doesn’t exist because kids are having addiction or learning problems. This more complex relationship is created due to the emotional needs of the parent.  We’ll touch […]

The post 062 SelfWork: How To Know If You’re Too Close To Your Child (Or Your Parent) appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Feb 2, 2018

There’s lots of information out there about how to stop beating yourself up or how to increase your self-esteem. But how do-able is it? I’m always interested in practical ways people can approach problems, or “What You Can Do About It.” So I’m offering three practical exercises for you to try — things that I’ve […]

The post 061 SelfWork: Three Very Practical Exercises To Boost Your Self-Esteem appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Jan 26, 2018

As promised, today’s episode is about peeling off the mask of Perfectly Hidden Depression (PHD). Thousands of you have listened to the episodes on PHD, and I’d love to hear from you personally. Email me confidentially so I can learn more from you!  This episode covers basic steps of change, with specific examples and directions […]

The post 060 SelfWork: Unmasking The Pain Of Perfectly Hidden Depression appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

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