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The SelfWork Podcast

I'm Dr. Margaret, a psychologist for over 25 years and the author of Perfectly Hidden Depression. I created The SelfWork Podcast in 2016 to explain mental health treatment, and to give you the chance to consider therapy without thinking it's weird or somehow suggests you can't "fix" your own problems. My team is so honored that five years later, SelfWork has earned nearly 3.5 million downloads! Each episode features the popular listener question. And, once a month, you’ll hear a “You Get the Gist” segment - a five minute run-down of a current topic - as well as an interview with an outstanding guest author or expert, adding to the wide diversity of topics listeners so appreciate. Regularly rated as one of the top mental health/depression podcasts out there, I keep it short and casual - and I'd love to hear from you. Please join me.
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Now displaying: 2018
Dec 28, 2018

Today we’re talking about the development of perspective on your life. Of course there are many ways to do that – but a helpful tool is a timeline. What’s a timeline? It’s a tool you can use to see how events in your life are connected – what led to what… and it can help you […]

The post 109 SelfWork: A First Step In Creating More Perspective on Your Life — Using A Timeline appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Dec 21, 2018

In this episode we’re talking about how to use comparison of yourself with others in a way that’s healthy and healing rather than creating a harder, more jealous or more insecure you! I’ll tell some of the stories I’ve witnessed and a couple of my own to move the discussion along, and help you see […]

The post 108 SelfWork: How to Keep Comparison from Stealing Your Joy appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Dec 14, 2018

Today we’re focusing again on Perfectly Hidden Depression, but this time we’re talking about what PHD is not. I received two emails in the same day this week and thought someone had sent theirs twice. But they were actually sent by two different people. Both of their first sentences were, “I think you may have […]

The post 107 SelfWork: What Perfectly Hidden Depression Is Not appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Dec 7, 2018

You may have asked yourself this question once or many times — “Why Couldn’t I Have Figured This Out Sooner?” In this episode of SelfWork, we’ll talk about the grief you may need to feel after asking yourself this question and the role of self-compassion in its answer. This is a part of any healing, […]

The post 106 SelfWork: Why Couldn’t I Have Figured This Out Sooner? appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Nov 30, 2018

Today we’re going to talk about your relationship with food and I’ll share a couple of stories about my own journey there. We’ll identify the difference between comfort eating and binge eating… and we’ll discuss the fairly new field of food addiction. I’ve had several gastric-bypass recipients as patients, and have watched them, as they lost […]

The post 105 SelfWork: When Comfort Eating Becomes A Problem appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Nov 23, 2018

Bickering is a bad habit. These are fights that are practically scripted – you know what your partner is going to say and they know what you’re going to say before you ever say it as well. But you can recognize these patterns and figure out what you’re actually fighting about. Things like trust, control, […]

The post 104 SelfWork: How To Break The Bickering Habit appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Nov 16, 2018

Today we’ll be focusing on what you have control over when you’re with family for the holiday season and I’ll offer seven pretty frank and real-time tips on how to manage your own. We can all hear the same tips over and over about not forgetting to maintain good self-care, don’t eat every dessert you’re […]

The post 103 SelfWork: Seven Frank Tips For Getting Along with Family appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Nov 9, 2018

Many people have trouble with connecting with their feelings. I’ve talked a lot about PHD – and certainly those folks have many intense feelings well hidden away. But it’s not only in PHD that this can occur. Many times, I’ve watched someone on the verge of letting go, of allowing an emotion to surface – […]

The post 102 SelfWork: How Do You Feel Your Feelings? appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Nov 2, 2018

Do you dread the leaves turning color? Did you have a loss during this year that you’re still grieving and the thought of raising a glass to another year makes you sick to your stomach? Are you looking back at last year and berating yourself for pounds not lost, goals not accomplished? Or are you so perfectionistic, […]

The post 101 SelfWork: Coping with SAD, Shame, Grief and Perfectionism During the Holidays appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Oct 26, 2018

Today is a huge celebration with the 100th Episode of SelfWork! You are the reason that SelfWork is going strong. You’re writing in questions. You’re letting friends and family know that SelfWork is helping you. You’re leaving ratings and reviews. I cannot be grateful enough for all the support, encouragement and caring that have come […]

The post 100 SelfWork: Celebrating #100! And It’s All About You! appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Oct 19, 2018

Fighting depression can take courage, persistence and support. It can be created by so many events or experiences and it can wear so many faces, that there isn’t one path toward healing. That healing will be unique to you. Episode 099 focuses on three common hurdles — three decisions or thoughts — that can paralyze […]

The post 099 SelfWork: Three Hurdles in Fighting the Black Dog of Depression appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Oct 12, 2018

Secrets can be devastating within a relationship. But it’s possible to work through them – with time and lots of effort. Yet what if your partner, who lost your trust for some reason, refuses to talk any more about it? You ask for therapy and they say no. What if the distrust is brushed under […]

The post 098 SelfWork: The Devastating Power of Secrets Within A Relationship appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Oct 5, 2018

How do you know a therapist is the right one for you? Do you need someone who’s suffered the same loss or trauma as you? Or does it matter? Based on a great question from a listener, Dr. Margaret will be looking into what you might want to consider when you make your choice. The […]

The post 097 SelfWork: What Makes A Therapist Right For Me? appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Sep 28, 2018

Aging takes a great attitude. No matter what decade you’re living in, you can fear turning older or embrace it. We’ll especially be talking about healthy families and how each generation learns to grow and change with one another. So what does Tina Turner have to do with it? Let’s say I had a revelation […]

The post 096 SelfWork: Tina Turner Takes A Seat: Aging and Attitude appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Sep 21, 2018

SelfWork’s 100th episode is coming up! And I’m celebrating by welcoming more of your questions — so ask away and we’ll focus #100 on you! Today’s SelfWork is about bitterness, an emotion where both anger and hatred reside. People who are swallowed up in it can certainly have been hurt or scarred in some way. […]

The post 095 SelfWork: The Risks of Bitterness appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Sep 14, 2018

What is the relationship between rules and beliefs and how do they affect whether or not you’re depressed? Today I’m going to pull from cognitive-behavioral and family systems therapy to outline a series of steps to challenge and change your thinking for those experiencing depression, anxiety or Perfectly Hidden Depression. You can begin to identify […]

The post 094 SelfWork: Challenging and Changing the Rules and Beliefs That Lead to Depression appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Sep 7, 2018

It’s a huge risk to reveal sexual abuse. A second betrayal occurs when you say “MeToo” and you’re not believed, it’s ignored or somehow you’re hurt all over again. Fearing this is what keeps many people from revealing what happened either years ago or in this very moment. Here are real people’s stories about what […]

The post 093 SelfWork: A Second Betrayal: When You Say #MeToo and You Get Hurt Again appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Aug 31, 2018

The Mighty is a terrific website that offers a place for everyone who struggles with a physical or mental illness, no matter how rare or chronic, to share their experience. You don’t just read information. You can hear a very personal story that helps you better understand someone you love who’s suffering, or gives you […]

The post 092 SelfWork: Talking Mental Health on The Mighty with Editor Sarah Schuster appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Aug 24, 2018

Today we’re talking about mindfulness and how to use this practice to address your own tendencies toward shame and perfectionism. This episode is sponsored by Audible.com and there’s a free trial offer for you today! What exactly is the difference between experiencing shame (or any emotion for that matter…) and being mindful of that emotion? […]

The post 091 SelfWork: Healing Shame Through Mindfulness appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Aug 17, 2018

“You know the second that it happens, you feel your heart rip open and you know that everything’s changed and you’re just never the same again. And so… we call it a rebuilding. You spend your time rebuilding your life after the death of your child because the life you knew beforehand is gone,”   […]

The post 090 SelfWork: Living Through the Unthinkable Death of A Child appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Aug 10, 2018

The empty nest. It’s what some parents dread while others are counting down the days. This podcast is definitely for that first group and might give some good ideas to those that are delighting in their new freedoms. Learning new purpose, finding a fresh passion, letting go and realizing you won’t know your now grown […]

The post 089 SelfWork: How To Let Go and Fill Your Empty Nest appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Aug 3, 2018

I’ve never talked to anyone who was dealing with grief and loss that didn’t feel lonely in that grief. Whether it’s a death, an illness, divorce, coping with the drug addiction of a loved one, whether it’s sudden or long-lived loss, you’re walking much of that path by yourself. You may have faith that guides […]

The post 088 SelfWork: How to Handle the Loneliness of Grief and Loss appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Jul 27, 2018

We all know that advertising always makes things look better than they actually are. What happens however when you’re on social media – Facebook or Instagram? Is it fun for you or do you get depressed? Do you believe everything you see? We’re talking today about how to have fun and enjoy the benefits of […]

The post 087 SelfWork: Five Ways to Keep The Fun In Social Media And Avoid Its Pitfalls appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Jul 20, 2018

            I’ll be talking about borderline personality disorder today and of the exhaustion and guilt that someone who’s trying to love then can feel. You’ll rarely if ever be enough due to their immense and irrational fears of abandonment. I’ll offer nine ways to try to ease that guilt — […]

The post 086 SelfWork: When You Can Never Be Enough — Loving Someone with BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Jul 13, 2018

Perfectionism is one of the chief traits of Perfectly Hidden Depression. We’re going to be talking about confronting perfectionism – the first thing is to realize you’re not going to do it perfectly. I’ll share other important hurdles to recognize as you begin the difficult task of undoing a perfectionistic streak in yourself that only […]

The post 085 SelfWork: Six Hurdles to Confronting Perfectionism and Perfectly Hidden Depression appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

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